Children & Family eBook
Children and the Family
by Stephen Gislason MD who examines the intense interactions of parents and children.
From Dr. G's preface:" Parents receive a lot of advice from many people. Popular magazines and books offer a continuous stream of conflicting advice. Professionals have a variety of opinions about child-rearing that range from helpful suggestions to misleading and even bizarre ideas. Child psychology is an eclectic assembly of ideas, miscellaneous observations, opinions, fears and irrational beliefs. Confusion prevails in education about what children should learn and how they should learn it. If psychologists, physicians, and educators are confused, what about parents? Parenting is difficult and long-term relationships sometimes fail. The best parents are pragmatic and not theorists. They stay involved with their children, follow some basic guidelines they learned and tend to do whatever works. Good parents improvise childcare with a combination of innate generosity, common sense, love and concessions to the demands of modern life."
Excerpts from Children & Family
An infant is richly endowed with all of life tendencies and resembles humans that have gone before. Humans all tend to do similar things and have similar thoughts, but there is a range of mental abilities. The range of mental ability is sufficiently great that humans of limited mental ability live different lives with different understanding than humans with greater mental abilities
Every child enters a competitive world in which he or she will be relentlessly compared with other children. Social acceptance will depend on the childs ability to form and maintain alliances with other children and key adults such as teachers, coaches, and counselors. One of the tasks for parents is to help their children navigate through a maze of obstacles and threats. A good parent teaches survival skills and provides reassurance that the taunts and threats of teasers and bullies are not as serious as they sometimes seem. At the same time, the good parent is alert to the possibility of real danger and intervenes strategically whenever threats do become serious.
Parenting is not easy. A new mother hopes that her baby will strengthen the bond with the father and secure life-long commitment. Babies are, in a practical sense, are cute little tyrants who monopolize the mother's time, energy and body, leaving the father (the once-upon-a- time starry-eyed lover) estranged, neglected and working hard to keep the family together. Lovers no longer, parents struggle to develop a new relationship based on the needs and demands of their children.
In this book, I develop a perspective based on understanding human nature. The deep lineage for every human is lies in the interaction of many layers of biological determinants. The culture of parents, schools and community impose a second lineage on a child that sets limits on the form and content of learning. A family is any combination of adults and children that creates a stable home. The essence of family is caring and nurturing. We are social creatures. Children are innately social, but need to learn what we are doing these days. The learning requirement is greater than ever before, because we now depend on complicated technologies and must learn to interact with a great number of other humans who will be different from us in many ways.
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